


Well, Shit.

by Hellas_himself



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Solavellan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 22:42:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21289358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellas_himself/pseuds/Hellas_himself
Summary: This is so old. Like. I completely forgot about posting it on tumblr and yall know how bad I am about carrying things over here from there. I wrote this after I beat DAO and DA2. Months ago. I wouldn't even doubt if this was like last holiday season old. This is my headcanon for the inquisitor I played to try Solavellan hell at least once lol
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Solas, Fenris/Female Hawke, Zevran Arainai/Warden
Kudos: 15





	Well, Shit.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so old. Like. I completely forgot about posting it on tumblr and yall know how bad I am about carrying things over here from there. I wrote this after I beat DAO and DA2. Months ago. I wouldn't even doubt if this was like last holiday season old. This is my headcanon for the inquisitor I played to try Solavellan hell at least once lol

I had never met the Hero of Ferelden.

I knew the stories, hell, I’d written about them more times than I will ever admit. The Warden, falling in love with a Crow sent to kill her. It was the kind of love story you’d find the Seeker reading quietly to herself when she thought none of us were looking.

But I didn’t know the Warden, not the way I knew Hawke.

The Champion of Kirkwall.

She would come to the Hanged Man for drinks and games of Wicked Grace, even if she lost most of the time. It was in those moments where the burden her family had placed on her seemed a little less heavy. She would laugh until she cried. Except sometimes, the crying didn’t stop. I know they were her family but they blamed her for everything. And nothing she did was ever enough. But Hawke never stopped trying, never stopped helping.

Hell, that’s how she met Fenris.

I hadn’t expected the prickly bastard to stick around once we’d cleaned out Danarius’s place, but Hawke had said they’d talked, and left it at that. He started tagging along, which wasn’t always too bad if we were choosing between Carver and Aveline.

He came with us to the Deep Roads when Carver joined the Templars. He remained in Hightown, fighting at Hawke’s side no matter where she went. He was there when Bartrand returned and I went to pay my big brother a visit… But you know that, Hawke’s story is the very tale Cassandra used to take me prisoner.

To put it plainly, the broody elf was always around, stealing glances at Hawke.

Everything changed after Hawke fought Hadriana. Their romance ended before it began. Hawke is my best friend, it was only natural for me to worry- but it was obvious the two were in love, they still fought side by side. He was there for her when her mother was killed. Fenris wore a red band around his wrist, the Amell crest- a romance in everything but name.

I’ll never forget the smile on her face after Fenris apologized for walking out on her. And when Meredith was defeated, Hawke and Fenris took off.

Naturally, I didn’t tell anyone where she went. Not even with that damn hole in the sky. And once I met Lavellan, I saw Hawke all over again. I knew I was done for; I was going to follow this girl to the damn Fade if I had to (be careful what you wish for).

I kept everything I knew about Hawke secret because I didn’t want any of this for her, but I didn’t want this for Lavellan, either. Here was this woman carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, and despite how she was treated by everyone, she wanted to help. Wanted to do anything she could to seal the Breach.

She took Ferelden by storm, sealing rifts and helping everyone; from farmers to nobles to the very people who had condemned her without knowing what had happened before she’d stepped out of that rift. Now, I won’t lie, I noticed how flustered she left Curly every time they spoke. I’m sure I’ll regret saying that later. But it was a surprise to see her warming up to Chuckles, asking him question after question about the Fade and his dreams, about elven history. We’d be at camp and she’d sit with him by the fire, talking about the mark. About anything.

But nothing came of it. She went to Val Royeaux. She traveled all over Thedas, coming back with new allies every time. The Iron Bull. The Grey Warden Blackwall. Sera and Vivienne. She took the time to talk to everyone, getting to know us all with every passing day.

And then we met Dorian.

Lavellan asked Solas and I to go with her to Redcliffe, knowing full well it was a trap. Was I really the only one who saw how worried Curly was?

With Leliana’s knowledge of the castle, we three walked right into the trap. It went to shit so fast, I still can’t put to words what it was like to see them just disappear. For Solas and I, she and Dorian had been gone for a few moments. Not even Alexius had moved from where he stood, unsure of what the hell had just happened.

When they came back… something had changed in her. She still made time for us, she still fought with everything she had. But the future she had fought through to come back had cast a shadow on her. I saw it when we sat down by the fire. She would ask about Kirkwall. About Hawke. I told her about Aveline and Isabela, Carver and Anders. Daisy and Curly. That made her laugh, trying to imagine what Cullen had looked like back then. She called him over one night to look at him by the fire and when she smiled, it almost looked like she was herself again.

But I saw the way she looked at Solas when she thought no one was looking. They didn’t talk as much as they used to. ‘I don’t have anything else to ask,’ she said when I’d teased her about it. Dorian managed to make her smile, at least- so did Bull and his Chargers. I didn’t dare to question when she’d just sit in silence by Leliana’s tent, staring at nothing for a time. One look from the Nightingale had everyone walking the other way.

The night she sealed the Breach, I saw the way she and Solas looked at one another before it happened. The worry on his face before she was standing tall, before the cheers erupted in the temple. But at Haven? Nothing. Not a glance. Not a word.

Even when Cullen was sending her out to face Corypheus as he led us out of Haven, she said no good byes. But when that dragon attacked again, she shouted for us to run. I saw the way Solas retreated into himself as we walked farther and farther from her, not knowing if she’d made it.

He showed nothing when she was carried to camp, he said nothing when everyone was fighting about where to go. What to do. But I saw them walk off together. I saw her smile when she came back alone.

And then we found Skyhold.

Lavellan was made Inquisitor and even with all her new responsibility, she made time for all of us. I want to say I saw her as much as Solas did, seeing as she walked by me every time she went to “walk around the library”. But they were talking again.

As she and Solas got closer, she strengthened her friendships with the rest of us. Facing Dorian’s father, hunting down a wyvern for Vivienne. I was surprised she didn’t hit Gatt in the face for the way he talked to Bull, especially after he and Lavellan chose the Chargers over the Qunari alliance. She was hung over for a few days after that, staying up late at night with Bull, drinking with his boys. Lavellan helped Curly through some heavy shit, and he finally seemed to relax around her. He still blushed, though. 

There were times Solas did not journey with her, and I would see the way he’d pace around that room a little more than usual. She had gone all the way to the Hissing Wastes without us, taking Dorian and Bull with her. Blackwall had told her not to play matchmaker, but Lavellan had helped him pick out flowers for Josie. He tagged along and said nothing more about it.

They read books together in the garden, sometimes she would sit at the little table and listen to him theorize about elven magic and whatever other fancy shit he talked about that brought the hearts out in her eyes. She would listen to Solas and Bull playing their games while we trekked through the Emerald Graves. She laughed at all my stupid jokes and shared books with Cassandra at camp, not at all afraid to talk about them with all of us there.

Vivienne had called us all into Lavellan’s chambers for us to see the gown she would wear to the Winter Palace. That was probably the first time I ever saw Chuckles a little flustered. Naturally, Josie forced us all into matching outfits that none of us liked, but Lavellan made a joke about it and Solas laughed. Truly laughed.

When Lavellan met Hawke, I saw history repeating itself. And I didn’t feel so bad about pissing the Seeker off. Hawke sent Fenris away to keep him safe. I saw those same shadows haunting Lavellan and I feared of what she would lose saving the world, when Hawke had lost so much by saving Kirkwall.

We followed her through the Fade. The Deep Roads. We hunted dragons and discovered temples that discredited the Chantry and had Solas and Lavellan talking long into the night. I knew it was a fool’s hope to see a happy ending, but every victory, no matter how fictitious left me wondering if maybe she would be the hero who walked away smiling.

But that was a fool’s hope.

After we defeated Corypheus, Solas disappeared. Leliana couldn’t find him, and Lavellan… Well, she had Thedas to worry about. Nobles and stupid political disputes. After all she had done, all she had lost- these bastards had the nerve to demand more of her. I knew she cried for him, I knew she stood out on that balcony, looking out as if she’d see him coming back home. But time passed, and there was no sign of him. The world really didn’t need an Inquisition anymore, but we didn’t know what to do yet. Lavellan walked through the room as if he had never occupied that space. She still flirted with Dorian, but that was safe. Nothing would come from that. He was her best friend and she was happy to see him in love with Bull. I was only allowed to ask about Solas if she could ask about Bianca. She never said I couldn’t tease her about Curly.

Before I went back to Kirkwall, we played a game of Wicked Grace. She won the game and instead of gloating, she just started to cry. Everyone was leaving and she’d be here, alone. I told her to sleep in Curly’s room, it was so small she might fall over in her sleep. She kicked my foot under the table for that, but it got her smiling.

I knew that she would have Josie and Cullen, but I understood. Kirkwall was lonely when Hawke was gone. I don’t know why, but I told her about Fenris and Hawke. About how he had left, how he had come back. They were together again after all this time, despite everything. I wasn’t sure if that was enough, but when we said goodbye, she thanked me for the story.

Two years passed and we were all together again. Lavellan and Curly arrived with Josie, the ease in which they stood beside one another made me hope that maybe she’d found something there, at least a friend. She joked about their clothes, about his hair and how long he’d taken to get ready in the morning. Josie asked them both to promise her they’d refrain from commenting on the Clerics and nobles in attendance. They promised, but I knew Lavellan had her fingers crossed behind her back. They followed Josie inside, the two of them whispering to one another and trying not to laugh.

The fate of the Inquisition was to be decided, and we’d face it together. But of course, shit can never be easy. Not for her.

A Qunari threat. Bodies piling up. And the Eluvian.

I had never seen Lavellan as angry as she was before she went into the Crossroads. But then, I’d never seen Curly look so worried. Everyone was a little more than surprised when he hugged her goodbye.

Once more, I followed Lavellan into the unknown with Dorian and Bull at our side. The mark started to react, worse than before. In agony she fought Qunari and demons until at last… Solas returned.

But only she went after him, not believing that he had betrayed her. Betrayed us all.

Waiting for her to come back felt like an eternity, Dorian wanted to walk through to find her but Bull wouldn’t hear it. But she came back to us, stepping out of that Eluvian, clutching her left arm- what was left of it. He’d had the nerve to say he loved her still. But she didn’t cry, she asked Dorian to patch her up. Once we made it back to the Winter Palace, she let Vivienne adjust her sleeve.

Shadows no longer haunted her, they’d become a part of her. And she commanded them. I saw it in the way she argued with the clerics, with the nobles, with everyone who had demanded everything of her. The Inquisitor, our Herald of Andraste- she had enough.

She started by disbanding the Inquisition.

Those of us in the Inquisition left Skyhold, leaving room for those who had no where to go. A safe haven. That was all Lavellan requested for before she disappeared without a trace. Word had it that Curly was living in some cabin in the Hinterlands, but I looked into it. There _was_ a cabin, but no sign of Curly. Some Inquisition soldier named Jim was living there, and he said he hadn’t seen the Commander since he was riding out of Skyhold by himself- _after_ Lavellan left.

Months later, I was having dinner with Fenris and Hawke. Daisy was there. So was Isabela. Carver showed up with flowers for his sister and for Daisy. Aveline and Isabela’s insults to one another were said with smiles. We didn’t talk about Anders.

Right when we were moving on to dessert, a knock came onto the door. Everything seemed to pause until I was handed a note in a familiar hand. I had to smile, I should’ve known.

I now sit by a fire, Leliana is looking at a map. I don’t know how the hell Cassandra is here, but she is, and she’s just as pissed as she was the day she met me. Dorian and Bull “went to bed” and Sera is messing with a jar of bees. Cole is hiding somewhere and Warden Blackwall brought Josie flowers.

I see her, standing by Curly, her arms crossed as she listens to Vivienne wax poetic about Orlais’ latest fashions. And yeah, you heard me right. _Arms_.

With her mind on the Blade of Tidarion and all the notes she took after meeting Fenris _once_ in passing, Dagna created an arm band made of silverite and lyrium. The band is always visible, but the ghastly blue arm appears whenever Lavellan wills it. A lyrium ghost arm is what Dagna calls it- I didn’t have to ask what inspired the name; I saw The Tale of the Champion amidst her many books on lyrium and magic.

Lavellan smiles when Curly brushes his fingers against the back of her hand, because she can feel it this time. Dagna is sitting on the ground, observing Lavellan and how she takes Curly by the hand, jotting down her findings.

I notice everyone is observing them. Cassandra has hearts in her eyes and Leliana is actually smiling. There is hope on Blackwall and Josie’s faces. Sera makes kissy sounds which leave Curly blushing but Lavellan smiles, leaning closer to him.

I told her once how Fenris had come back for Hawke. How they’d run off together when the world didn’t need them. Solas isn’t coming back for her. She knew it before any of us told her. But she came back for us, for Cullen. She ran off with him when the world believed it had no need of her.

We’re going to find Solas. We’re going to stop him from tearing down the Veil.

After that? I’ll be writing about Commander Cullen Rutherford and how he won the heart of the Herald of Andraste.

Cassandra is going to read the shit out of this one. 


End file.
